Our journey to adoption

We decided we wanted to try for a baby towards the end of 2014. I had been on the pill for many years, so I knew it could take a while for my body to regulate, so we weren’t worried at the beginning.

After a couple of months, I was chatting with a friend who is a doctor and mentioned we were trying and she recommended we get checked out, just for peace of mind. So we did, and after many tests and a lot of money, we our diagnoses. For me, it was PCOS. They didn’t seem too worried and I knew a few people that had it too, so I wasn’t too sad, but it still wasn’t pleasant to find out that I had some sort of problem, that my body was somehow "faulty". We then did 2 rounds of Clomid at the doctor’s recommendation, which weren’t successful. At the beginning I was excited about this and happy to spend time and money on this chance. When it was time for the 3rd round, I’d had enough of doctors and medical interventions, so we both agreed to just keep trying naturally and that was a relief. I looked into natural medicine to regulate my cycle and I started meditating as well. So we were a bit more relaxed, but the timed sex was pretty stressful for both of us. As time passed, I wasn’t bouncing back so quickly after my cycles and towards the end I simply wasn’t bouncing back. There was this undercurrent of sadness within me pretty much all the time. The doctors had said that if Clomid didn’t work, we’d go directly to IVF, so I knew that was the next step and I was dreading it, though I don’t think I'd quite acknowledged it at the time. This was around the two year mark. Adoption had always been on the table for us, but I had always thought we’d try naturally first, then IVF if needed and then adoption, the “classic” route. And then one momentous day, my husband mentioned adoption as a pro-active choice, rather than a “last resort” option. And my heart just exploded, I felt happiness, relief, it felt so right for us! I felt like the missing piece of the puzzle was there and it fit perfectly. I realized that what I wanted is to have a child, how didn’t actually matter to us. So we stopped trying to conceive and starting looking into adoption. For me, it was crucial to give myself time to grieve the idea of a biological child, to heal from the heartbreak of bad news month on month, and to just enjoy being a couple. I knew that I wouldn't be able to give myself to the adoption process wholeheartedly until I had grieved. So I did, it was lovely not to have that pressure anymore, I felt lighter, happier and our relationship was all the stronger. So one fine day, I was ready. We'd attended an information evening shortly after we made the decision, and on May 31st, 2017, we sent in our initial enquiry form. And here we are!

#Adoption #Infertility #PCOS