The art of waiting

Have you mastered it? Because I certainly haven't! I am much better at it than I used to be. I can now successfully wait 90 seconds for a feeling to pass*, I can wait for more than 10 seconds before replying to an email, I can wait in a restaurant for 45 minutes for someone, I can wait 3 weeks for an important document to arrive, I can wait a month for my childhood teddy bear to be restored and back with me. But you know what I find hard? All the waiting during the journey to adoption. It is part of it and there is no real choice, but it is not easy.

It starts with the information evening. An email sent, wait. A reply asking for your information, reply sent, wait. A reply letting you know you'll receive a letter, wait. The letter arrives - please send a letter back with your preferred date, reply sent, wait. Finally - a confirmation received via email because the date is so close. Success! But then the real waiting comes, how much longer until the information evening? What do you mean 5 days?!? 5 days of running every possible scenario through your head, of alternating between excitement and nerves. Finally, the day arrives. Our appointment is at 11:00am. Oh no, it's only 7:00am! Suddenly those 4 hours seem way longer than the whole 5 days we waited before. And basically this repeats itself throughout the whole process.

Now, it's not all bad. There is a lot of happiness and excitement interlaced with the waiting. Every little step you complete, be it a form, a check back, some positive feedback, they all bring a sense of satisfaction and peace, it makes the waiting easier, at least for me. Other things that make it easier for me is doing stuff, keeping as busy as I can. Mostly I read books on adoption and surrounding topics, which make me feel like I am somehow moving things along. However, I found it incredibly important to also steer clear of the topic - to focus enjoy my life as it is now, the freedom, the sleep, endless hours of Netflix and mostly, spending time with my husband one-on-one. It's not always easy to do this for me, but guided meditation (there are loads on YouTube) and exercise help me re-focus and view things in a different light. A good friend of mine just told me: "forever is a long old time, the day will come sooner than you know it." And she is right, now is the time to appreciate what my life is like now, as it will never be the same...

I, as a prospective adopter, of course am waiting for the ultimate day: the day I get to meet my child. There will be waiting after that, hard waiting - for the day we get to bring our child home, for the day the social worker visits end and finally, for the day the adoption order is signed and our child is officially ours forever.

*(Did you know it only takes that long? Here is some more info on this, a life-changing concept for me: https://www.itsmylifeinc.com/2014/07/why-stay-angry/)