I am Mommy

I am not sure how it is for other people, but discovering what I would like to be called when I become a parent has not been straightforward. I was born and raised in one country by a mother from a different nationality and a father from a third one. Three countries, three cultures, three languages. And now, I add the UK into the mix - my home, where I feel comfortable, safe and settled. I started to ask myself: when I become I parent, who should I be? Mamá, Mami, Mamma, Mom, Mum, Momma, Mummy, Mommy?

My identity fluctuated a lot when I was growing up. I bounced from feeling like each of my three nationalities. Round and round, back and forth. When I was answering the questions for Stage 1 in the adoption process, there was one question about identity. Who are you, what defines you? So I thought long and hard about it. And I concluded that what defines me is that I am the product of many cultures forged together. Sometimes one side comes out loud and clear, in my absolute love for my birth country, its people and its traditions. My father's side pays me a visit when I am in the countryside, close to nature, feeling close to my legacy of adventure lovers. My mother's side is an interesting one. Mostly, I don't really feel that nationality, but here's the thing: when I think of some of the things that make me incredibly happy - they are linked to that side of me. Christmas, reading and being read to, my love of ballet, me time and so many more. I know these things aren't intrinsically from that country. But for me, they are. Any why? Because of my mother. My amazing, strong, kind, funny mother. She is safety, she is home, she is love. She is everything anyone could ever wish for in a mother. She is Mommy. And so, when I thought long and hard about who I want to be as a parent, what feels right, what feels like love, safety, kindness, empathy, understanding, support, laughter, happiness - it was Mommy. She is Mommy and I am Mommy.