Normal

Normal is such a powerful word. Entire societies and their norms are built around this word. It permeates even the most insignificant interactions. "Good morning, the weather today is not normal for July, wouldn't you say?","Could I please have a normal coffee?","I'll just be doing normal stuff this weekend."

It has such weight, such significance. People strive for normality, it is where they feel safe. (Not all, of course). This is what I wanted. A normal life. I thought I had followed this path: I had a happy upbringing, then the normal trials and tribulations in my teenage years (see? there it is: normal, unconsciously creeping up). Off I went to a good university and made great friends. I got my first job in a country I love. I met my husband, we lived together, got married and bought a house. So far, so good. All normal. Great! Next step: make babies! No problem. Month one to six: this is fun, never mind that there is no pregnancy yet, it's normal that it take a while. A couple more months, doctors, diagnoses...guess what? Not normal. This was a shock. You mean that this next life step is not going to be normal? Exactly. You are not normal, will never be normal. It took some time to let this all sink in. There were so many feelings to deal with and within that was also the feeling of not belonging, of not being normal. Time passed, decisions were made, talks were had, tears were shed and then one day, hope was found in our decision to adopt. And among many, many other things, what did this teach me? That normal is overrated! What does normal even mean? I realize now that this word has too much power. Normal is subjective and there is way too much pressure to achieve it in our society. Every single person in this universe is completely different and unique, as is every thought that is had, every decision that is made. Each has minute nuances that make them so, and that is fine. It is absolutely OK that each person, each couple, each family has their own normal. I now absolutely love my normal, my path, my choices. I truly, truly love it! It may not be what society considers normal and that is OK with me. If it means we have to do more explaining, educating and helping others understand, so be it! If it means that some will simply not embrace it, then they won't be a part of our life! It did take me time to get to this point. I won't say that it was natural or easy, change doesn't come that easily to me. But I did get here and on the way, it is becoming more natural and much easier. It also made me think back on my past, I don't think my life nor I were ever normal. I was always different. I am an introvert in a world focused on extroverts. I preferred spending my time around horses than at parties. I went shopping at the local market instead of at the shopping mall like my friends. I am the daughter of musicians instead of business people. It was my normal and it was and is beautiful. I appreciate and embrace all these "differences" and love my life all the more for it. And now, I say goodbye to normal!